Grandma Passes Away
This morning, I get a phone call from my mom. At first I thought it was the usual phone call to say “hi” and catch up. However, her first words were grandma passed away. I was shocked to say the least because I had made plans to watch the Superbowl, but all those plans were put aside immediately. I had to grab a plane ticket to San Francisco and pack for the week to make all the arrangements. I also had to dig up the paperwork for grandma’s final resting place.
Here’s the eulogy that I wrote:
Born: 1919-12-03 Died: 2022-02-13
My grandmother lived 102 amazing years. Anyone who knows her knows someone who was always happy and content with her life. She always carried herself with strong Christian beliefs and dignity. She treated everyone with respect and never spoke ill of anyone. Family and that family connection was very important to her.
My connection with her of course started when I was young. While my parents worked, she took care of me. She would walk me to school in Hong Kong. She was very patient with me while I was being naughty. I never remembered her ever scolding me or even raising her voice at me. I cried when we had to leave her behind in Hong Kong while we emigrated to San Francisco in 1975. I would not see her again until 1982 after my parents were able to get her a green card.
I don’t remember much about the specific date and time she arrived in San Francisco. I just remember how excited and generally happy I was. After she came, she and I shared a room in our modest apartment in Chinatown. I recall all the times she would be the person I would see first when I came home from school. And she’d be the last person I would say good night to as we went to sleep.
She always had a snack for me after school. I would joke with her that she was the person who made me fat because her cooking was so tasty. I also remember her amazing ability to recreate dishes she would eat outside. She can tell you what ingredients were in the dish. And I would tell her particular dishes I liked and she would make it over and over again until I was sick of it.
I also remember all the weekends we would spend walking from our house in Chinatown to Union Square where she would look at all the pans and cookware at Macy’s, trying to get the best deal. And she would patiently wait for me while I looked at the computers. She always believed in me and helped me get my first PC. Even though she was my “older” grandma, her ability to walk fast surprised all of my friends. She would always walk faster than them.
She always had some wisdom and advice to share. I think that is what I will always remember most about my grandma. She’s always sharing something with someone. She’s the most social person I know. I remember when we would watch TV, even though she doesn’t know English, she would be able to tell all of us who the bad person is or who would win. Sometimes, I wouldn’t be able to hear the show because she would be explaining something about the TV.
I miss her laughter, sometimes she would giggle because of something she saw on TV. Or whenever she’s just happy to see her grandkids or great grandkids or great great grandkids. It didn’t matter that the grandkids didn’t speak Cantonese, she would always find a way to play and connect with them and invariably, she and the kids would always laugh together.
Towards the end of her life, she experienced dementia. When I would visit and stay with my mom and grandma, I could hear my grandma speak and mumble. She would sometimes scream, sometimes complete sentences, sometimes simple words, and sometimes just sounds or things that don’t make any sense. But every once in a while, I would hear her scream for me by name. I can’t help but be emotional every time I think about how much impact I had on her life that she would ask for me. She had such an impact on my life. I’ve known her for all of my life. She’s been there for so many important events. She’s been there to congratulate me for graduations, for new jobs, for my kids. She’s been supportive of helping me grow into an adult. She’s been there to provide comfort and advice when things didn’t go my way. She’s not only that way to me, but that’s the way she is with everyone. I hope she gets to be reunited with her husband and parents. We all love her very much and we all miss her warmth and kindness, but we are all blessed to have had her in our lives.